Consider sobriety, Zach Galifianakis

Since when is The Hangover a trilogy? We all make mistakes, but really..? I thought we all learned enough from the The Hangover: Part II. When the part II trailer was released, I made a vow to myself that I would never ever ever see it, so it was a sad day when I was on vacation with my family and it was the only movie on TV. I half-paid attention and it still hurt my eyes, ears, and even senses indirectly related to film.

As I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed 20 minutes ago, I unfortunately came across this:

Trilogies are reserved for awesome stories, like the original Star Wars, The Godfather, Back to the Future, hell, even The Matrix. But most importantly, LORD OF THE RINGS. LOTR has substance, it was meant to have three parts. One does not simply walk into Mordor, you know?

The Hangover was a quality movie. It was funny in a different kind of way in 2009, and I’m sure we all remember that two week period where every conversation you had referenced how Indiana Jones had a satchel. Part II was the same exact thing with a couple of substitutes, like Thailand instead of Las Vegas and a monkey instead of a tiger. At least this third part doesn’t seem like a replay. It does seem like it will focus on Alan (Zach Galifianakis) acting socially unacceptable, though. And honestly, don’t we all like Ken Jeong so much more when he’s playing the role of Chang?

Who asked for this? Did anyone ask for this? Why are we being punished?

Regardless, long live Ed Helms.