Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

I am 500% obsessed with Mindy Kaling. I will confidently say that she is my favorite actress right now. I bring her up constantly, and I fear that I am becoming the main character in one of those obsessive thrillers, like Fear and Obsessed. This being the only time I do not want my name associated with Mark Wahlberg’s. I would even be nervous that upon some weird coincidence Mindy saw this and banished my name from her ‘Potential BFF’ list – I truly believe she would have one and that’s why I appreciate her.

The issue at-hand: Everyone says they want to be Mindy Kaling’s best friend. It’s like a thing.

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I’ve had a lot of friends recently tell me that they “saw Mindy’s book at [insert generic store here] and almost bought it!” Okay, why is everyone almost buying it? What, did you walk down a few more aisles and find that a charm bracelet is more important to your life right now? Stop that. I’ll make you a charm bracelet, or a puca shell necklace, or a leather bag that looks like it’s from Urban Outfitters, or whatever you found cooler than the greatest book you almost bought. *chime in Almost by Bowling for Soup*

What’s even worse is that I have Is Everyone Hanging Out without Me? [And Other Concerns] on my Nook. So every time someone asks to borrow it after I’ve taken the tablet of my purse and specifically referenced the bookmarked quotes for 30 whole minutes, I cannot provide.

Stepping away from talk on some quality literature, I love that Mindy plays extremely relatable characters and is an extremely relatable person in real life, yet they are two different types of relatable. For instance, Mindy usually plays the single girl. Just like, the single girl. There’s no other way to describe it. The kind of single girl who is looking for a man who loves his mom, changes out of sweatpants more than twice a week, and isn’t scared to get creative with his frozen yogurt.

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Now, the relatable part of real life Mindy is the fact that she’s the definition of a girl. She references BFF code, obsesses over celebrity couples, and pretends to love working out and eating salad like we all do. I get the vibe that DIY comes up big in Mindy’s life. She would have a killer lifestyle blog; like the blogs where people look perfect in all their pictures (taken by their freelance photographer friends) with their cats and dogs in large cities, like NYC, and feature posts on homemade skin care products that also substitute as smoothies or something. But I get the vibe that Mindy would be the real version of that.

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Mindy seems to have the coolest friends. In her book, she mentions her childhood/college friends who still have her back. And she’s got ungodly cool famous friends, like Seth Rogen, Anders Holm, James Franco, and that general type of hilarious person. I got overly excited when BJ Novak favorited my tweet a few weeks ago, and the first thing I said to my boyfriend was “Omg, do you think he’ll tell Mindy? Do you think he’ll tell her I existed on the internet for 5 seconds??!!!?!?”

A lot of nonsense goes around the celeb-scope – things like “Mindy’s trying to be Tina Fey.” I cross that out. She’s not trying to be Tina Fey. What about Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig? They could technically be accused of trying “to be” Tina Fey, too. No one says two comedic dudes are trying to be each other. It’s because absolutely hysterical women break out more rarely, so it seems like the role is already taken. There’s room for both of their books in the Barnes & Noble biography section, I promise.

I don’t think people recognize that Mindy most likely wrote some of your favorite episodes of The Office. Now, The Office fans are the types of people who would know who the writers are, but still. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? [And Other Concerns] allows the reader to understand what Mindy contributed! Like, she wrote “The Dundies” episode for whatever higher power you believe in’s sake.

mindy3Overall, based off of the creepiness I have dedicated to finding out all these sweet traits of Mindy Kaling, we are basically the same person. She indulges in the silly clichés that a girl would now a days be picked on for. Everyone’s too busy being annoying & trying to act like “one of the dudes,” implying that it’s not “cool” to embrace being a girl anymore – but we know that ain’t true. Also, Mindy mentions that she only has dance music on her iPod, so I firmly believe that upon someone asking to see our iTunes library, we would both respond with “Oh, it’s just my running playlist on there” …. Eeeep.

Not to mention, Mindy and I have the same big dream – we both would like future hipsters to love us ironically.

Honestly, writing this has made me realize how strange it is to be a celebrity and to have people talk about you like they know you.. My sincerest apologies to all.. At least it’s all good ( :

Watch season one of The Mindy Project on Hulu Plus before season two starts on September 17 on FOX!

ImageAfter this Mindy praise piece, be on the lookout for a despise-filled Zooey Deschanel piece titled “I hate Zooey Deschanel & I Hope People De-Friend Me For This”

Until then.